The Tower of Barkel

With our infinite arrogance and pride, humankind has always been a boon companion of folly. Recall, if you will, the story of The Tower of Babel. A monument reaching towards the very heavens; designed to rival the work of the Creator itself. In its righteous and divine fury God cast down the tower, scattered humanity to the four winds and deigned that forever more we speak in tongues foreign to each other. What the story neglects to mention however is that it was not only humans that dared defy God's will. It is this tale that I tell you now.

Making rules for life

I've been absolutely obsessed with my looks recently, which, given that my concept of time is extremely poor, means approximately the last 28 years.

Its ranged from the reasonable (maybe I should shave my beard?) to the slightly more radical (perhaps it's time to seriously invest in cravats and a monocle). Now I've even started to draw other people into it. It started off simple, asking friends questions like "Do you think I could pull off pink brogues?" Now it's mutated it forcing random acquaintances to reveal their height and age so I can compare myself more accurately to them.

Ratatouille

Ingredients:

-All the vegetables

-Pot

-Cooker

Method:

I am afraid. If I look over my shoulder I can still see the pot containing the ratatouille on the oven. We stare at each other for a moment, our shared journey bonding us closer than brothers. I let out a gasp and flee the room.

My Holiday Diary - Part 2, The Beach at Dawn

I awoke in a cold sweat. This was the third night I had spent on the island and for the third time I found my sleep plagued by disturbing visions. I raised my head from the pillow and turned to look at the clock on the bedside table. The red digits proudly proclaimed the time as 4.36am, this was intolerable. I was used to early starts, on normal day I woke up at 5am each morning to perform a vigourous cardiovascular workout but this was supposed to be a holiday. Sitting up, I sighed as I stretched out my neck and arms, the taut muscles flexing, readying themselves for the challenges of the day.

My Holiday Diary - Part 1, The Crossing

There seems to be a real interest in travel blogs at the moment and since I went on holiday a short while ago I thought I'd do a write-up of what happened.

I'll try and keep the entries brief. If you'd like some more information about the Isle of Wight and what you can do while you're there please feel free to get in touch.

The Day I Caught the Bus

I'm getting the bus back home after a reasonably late night. As I ascend to the top deck there she sits. Blonde (oh!), glasses (ah!) and reading a book (oh my!). Obviously there is a connection here, although at this point she seems unaware of it. I proceed to adopt my best ‘romantic-bus-loner' character (lots of meaningful looks into middle distance and general brooding) and the courting begins, she still seems to be somewhat oblivious.

Awakening the Tiger

So, I’ve been going to the gym steadily now for about three weeks. I’ll be honest, I was pretty nervous at the start (people will see me!) but a couple of nights ago I had a revelation. Suddenly, I understand it all, why people obsess about exercise – I awoke my inner tiger.