Mark vs Blackbird

The following is not a metaphor. I'm not trying to make some grand statement about the conflict between humanity and nature. It doesn't provide a profound insight into my innermost thoughts and feelings. This is a literal tale of the living hell my life has become.

There is a Blackbird.

I don't know where it came from or what it desires but it is there. Perhaps it is the former resident of my current home, unjustly cast out by my blackbird-phobic landlord. Maybe its appearance is simply some great cosmic joke. No matter the reason for its arrival, it has come and it will not leave.

The Blackbird mocks me in a number of ways. 

I suffer from an as yet undiagnosed condition causing me to suffer on certain mornings (especially common on Saturdays and Sundays); headaches, queasiness and a general apathy towards life. It is on these occasions that the Blackbird will inevitable arrive. It will perch on the roof outside my window and, without any consideration for my malady, vindictively and viciously tweet at me. Its motives for denying me the very sleep I need to recover my fragile health are a mystery and it will only cease its calling once I have been roused and forced to leave the sanctuary I so desperately require.

Those of you know me well may be aware that financial planning is not one of my strengths. There has been many a morning when, perched hungrily on the backdoor step, I've questioned the logic of spending the last of my money on gin and tobacco. As if sensing my weakness the Blackbird will once again appear. Wings spread wide and head held high, it will call to me. Looking up I see that it has caught a worm, a fine feast for such a creature you might think but by doing so you underestimate its cunning. It's seemingly innocent display is merely a ruse to taunt and torment me further. By showing how it can adequately manage its, albeit limited, assets, it forces me to acknowledge my own failings in this area and fall further down into a spiral of despair.

It used to keep a reasonable distance from me but, as its confidence builds and my resolve weakens, I have noticed it drawing ever closer. The fallen leaves that it throws around with such abandon are piling up around the house and the long walks I used to take to relieve my stress are now, quite literally, cast under a black shadow by a grim airborne spectator.

We have not yet resorted to physical violence but I fear the time may be approaching when beak and fist meet. I have no idea who would win such a bout, I simply know that that no matter the outcome - victory or death - this must end soon.